6 Surprising Ways Anxiety Therapy in Portland Helps You Survive the Holidays Without Hating Yourself

When holiday pressure feels too heavy, therapy for anxiety in Portland, Oregon can help you stay grounded in what matters most.

As a therapist offering anxiety therapy in Portland and across Oregon, I want to offer more than just holiday “tips.” I want to help you reflect on how you relate to yourself during one of the most emotionally charged seasons of the year. This is especially relevant if you’re Queer, deeply attuned to current events, or navigating family systems that feel fraught.

If the words “holiday season” spark more dread than delight, you’re not alone and that feeling is valid. For many of us, this time of year brings a wave of expectations, old wounds, and social pressures that feel like too much. If you’ve ever left a gathering feeling more anxious or depleted than connected, or you’ve had to white-knuckle your way through December, this blog is for you.

Let’s explore 6 ways therapy can support you in making it through the holidays without abandoning yourself to survive it.

1. Counseling Helps You Untangle the “Shoulds”

Therapy gives you a space to question the holiday script you may have been handed. You should go home. You should spend the day with family. You should be happy and grateful. But what if those shoulds come at the cost of your wellbeing?

In session, we begin to explore where those beliefs came from, how they’ve been enforced, and whether they actually serve you now. Clients often feel relief when they realize they don’t have to do what everyone else expects in order to belong. This doesn’t mean that you just skip events that are important to you. Instead, you may begin to feel more empowered around making a conscious choice instead of following blind obligation. When you untangle the shoulds, you stop punishing yourself for wanting peace

2. It Validates That It Is Hard, Especially If You're Queer

The holidays often amplify the pain of not being fully seen or accepted. Whether it’s the subtle digs, the knowledge of “questionable” social media posts from certain family members, the silences, or just feeling like you have to hide parts of yourself to “keep the peace,” this time of year can be exhausting for LGBTQ+ clients.

Psychotherapy for anxiety in Portland helps you name and validate that experience without shame. You’re not “too sensitive,” you’re responding to a real history of exclusion and erasure. And while we may not be able to change others, therapy helps you picture and practice showing up for yourself with more clarity, care, and self-trust. This can even lead to assertive, confident communication that is still compassionate and clear.

3. It Helps You Build a Plan for Emotional Safety

In therapy, we develop practical strategies that don’t require you to pretend everything is fine. That might look like creating a boundary script you can practice ahead of time. It might mean identifying your support system and planning a check-in after a hard interaction.

One of the most supportive things I see clients do is create a “holiday grounding plan,” a set of emotionally supportive practices and reminders to help bring them back to themselves. Not because they’re trying to fix everything, but because they’re choosing to stay connected to their own needs in the midst of everything.

4. It Helps You Make Peace with Wanting Different

There’s often grief under the surface this time of year: grief for the family dynamic you didn’t get, the traditions that feel more painful than joyful, or the version of you that feels like you have to “perform” to get through. Even acknowledging how experiences changed from childhood into adulthood.

In anxiety therapy, we don’t gloss over that grief we make space for it. We talk about what it means to want less of what’s been hurtful and more of what’s restorative. That could be a chosen family gathering. A quiet walk instead of a loud party. A hotel room instead of a childhood bedroom.

You’re allowed to want a different experience and you’re allowed to protect your peace.

5. It Interrupts the Shame Spiral

You’re probably very familiar with this spiral. You feel too much. Or you say the wrong thing. Or you didn’t go home. And then you hear the inner critic: You’re selfish. You’re the problem. No wonder you feel alone.

This is where therapy becomes transformational. We don’t just “cope” with shame, we meet it with curiosity. Where did it come from? What does it fear will happen if you choose differently?

Instead of fighting with the inner critic, we begin to understand it so that when it shows up this holiday season, you don’t turn against yourself. You breathe. You remind yourself that you’re not being unreasonable for having boundaries. And you move through the moment with more compassion.

6. It Reminds You That You’re Not Alone

So many people feel isolated this time of year. But in my practice, I get to witness just how not alone you really are. There are so many of us out here making different choices. Redefining family, redefining tradition and how we mark and celebrate important moments throughout the year. Learning how to honor ourselves without shutting down.

Therapy doesn’t erase the complexity of the holidays but it does give you a place to be real, to be seen, to heal, and to learn how to navigate this season without betraying yourself.

A Note About Finding the Right Support

Whether you’re Queer, neurodivergent, burned out, or just plain overwhelmed by the holidays, anxiety therapy in Portland can help you stay rooted in what matters most without losing yourself to guilt, obligation, or shame.

If you’re curious about what this work might look like for you, I recommend finding the right therapist for you and scheduling a few consultations to sense who feels like a good fit. You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s connect.

Author Bio

Eric Goodwin (he/they), Queer-affirming therapist serving Portland and Oregon online, helps clients navigate anxiety with clarity, care, and compassion.

Eric Goodwin (he/they) offers LGBTQ+ affirming anxiety therapy online in Portland and across Oregon. With a focus on mindfulness, self-compassion, and IFS-parts work, Eric helps clients transform inner criticism into clarity and care, especially around high-stakes seasons like the holidays. If you’re ready to experience more calm and more choice this season, reach out to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation by calling (971) 533-5590 or clicking here.

FAQs About Holiday Stress and Anxiety Therapy in Portland

How can therapy help when the stress feels inevitable?

Even if you can’t change the people or situations around you, therapy helps change how you relate to those experiences. We work on inner resourcing, grounding practices, and identifying what’s in your control so you feel less reactive and more rooted, even during the messiest moments.

Is it selfish to say no to family during the holidays?

Not at all. Sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do is set a boundary, even if others don’t understand it yet. Therapy can help you explore what your needs really are and how to honor them without shame.