Self-Esteem Therapy in Portland

You may have landed here because you're searching for self-esteem therapy in Portland (more on that term later). Maybe you’re tired of doubting yourself all the time; of walking through the world with an inner critic that never lets up. It tells you you’re too much, or not enough. That you need to be better, quieter, tougher, more successful, less emotional. That if you could just get it together, maybe you’d finally feel okay.

That voice? It didn’t come from nowhere. It came from shame. And it’s been trying to keep you safe by making you small.

Shame can show up in many different ways. Sometimes it sounds like perfectionism. Ever have that experience where something so important to you keeps getting pushed back or left unfinished because of that uneasy feeling that you just can’t do it “right?” Sometimes shame hides in the need to be liked and people-pleasing, in overexplaining, in emotional shutdown. It often grows from early environments where criticism or emotional neglect shaped your sense of identity. Or from systems that make it unsafe to be fully yourself, especially if you’re Queer, neurodivergent, sensitive, or simply unwilling to follow the rules of a culture that measures worth by dominance and productivity.

I want to be clear: this isn’t a page about how to “boost your confidence.” It’s about the deeper work of reclaiming your self-worth and learning how to live in a way that honors your value, your wholeness, and your humanity.

The Story You’ve Internalized Isn’t the Only One

So many of us grow up absorbing the message that we are only as valuable as what we produce, achieve, or project. In U.S. culture, self-esteem is born out of competition, the idea that we earn our value by rising above or outperforming others. This mindset runs deep. It shows up in schools, families, workplaces, and even in therapy spaces.

But this model leaves most people behind. It reinforces shame, because it’s never enough. Winning isn’t a permanent phenomenon, it’s a moment, an experience. And there’s always someone getting more accolades or acknowledgment (let’s not even get into how a culture of productivity encourages some personality traits over others). And it disconnects us from each other, because we’re taught to compare rather than collaborate.

In our work together, we’ll explore a different path. One that doesn’t ask you to become someone else to feel worthy. One that reconnects you to your inherent goodness, the kind that doesn’t disappear when you fail, struggle, or fall short of impossible expectations.

What It’s Like to Work with Me

I’m Eric Goodwin, a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Portland, Oregon. I offer therapy for shame, self-criticism, and growing self-worth; in person and online throughout Oregon. Many of the people I work with feel like they’ve been carrying a lifelong burden of not-enoughness. Some have been deeply impacted by Queerphobia or grew up in homes and environments where criticism was the norm. Others are sensitive or introspective people who’ve never really felt seen.

Therapy with me includes acknowledging those experiences, unearthing your values system (the one that draws from your heart and your wisdom) and encouragement for you to embody and bring those beliefs forward into the way you relate to and share with others. It’s about slowing down enough to hear what your inner critic is really afraid of. About listening with compassion to the parts of you that have worked so hard to protect you by encouraging you to stay small, silent, or busy.

I draw on practices from Compassion-Focused Therapy, mindfulness, and Internal Family Systems (IFS)-inspired parts work. But more than that, I draw on a belief that healing isn’t about becoming more palatable to a broken system, it’s about remembering who you are underneath the shame.

Developing Self-Compassion Encourages Compassion for Others

When you begin to connect with your inner world through compassion, you're not only improving your mental health. You’re resisting a culture that profits from your self-doubt. A culture that tells you to be productive instead of present. Polished instead of real. Strong instead of whole.

In therapy, we begin to unlearn those expectations. Together, we make room for your grief, your anger, your tenderness, and your longing; all the parts of you that have had to hide in order to “function.” This isn’t about fixing you. It’s about liberating you.

You don’t have to perform worthiness here. You get to be real. And from that place, you get to choose what kind of life you want to build; not just for yourself, but in relationship to others. Because healing is personal, but it’s also communal. And the more we stop organizing ourselves around shame, the more capacity we have to show up with integrity, courage, and care.

This Is the Work

If you’ve been stuck in cycles of self-judgment, if the voice in your head won’t let you rest, if shame keeps you apologizing for who you are, therapy can help.

You’ll begin to notice when the old story shows up, and you’ll learn how to pause, listen, and respond differently. Over time, what once felt like evidence of failure might start to feel like an invitation to come home to yourself.

It Starts With One Step:

I offer therapy for shame and self-worth in Portland and online across Oregon. If you're feeling hesitant or unsure, that’s welcome, too. You don’t have to be confident to start this work. You just have to be willing to wonder if maybe, just maybe, there’s more available to you than self-doubt.

You are not a project to be fixed. You are a person to be met with care, with curiosity, and with the deep knowing that your worth isn’t up for debate.

The next step would be to reach out to set-up a free 15 minute phone consultation to see if I’m a good fit for what you’re looking for and how I can best help you! Call me at (971) 533-5590 or click here to set up your consultation.

FAQs – Self-Esteem Therapy in Portland

1. What type of therapy is best for self-esteem?

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but in my work, I integrate Compassion-Focused Therapy, mindfulness-based practices, and Internal Family Systems (IFS)-inspired parts work to help clients heal from shame and internalized self-criticism. Instead of trying to “boost” self-esteem through external validation, this approach helps you reconnect with a steady sense of worth that doesn’t depend on performance or perfection.

2. How do I fix extremely low self-esteem?

First, you don’t need to be “fixed.” That language is part of why this feels so hard. What we often call low self-esteem is a response to shame, trauma, and internalized messages about not being enough. In self-esteem therapy, we gently begin to unlearn those messages, not by forcing confidence, but by listening for what you need. With time, self-trust and a deeper sense of worth start to grow.

3. What is the root cause of low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem is rarely about who you are and almost always about what you’ve been through. It often grows out of early environments where emotional needs weren’t met, where criticism was constant, or where your identity didn’t feel safe or affirmed. For many Queer, neurodivergent, or sensitive people, it also comes from navigating systems that equate worth with conformity. Therapy helps make sense of these roots and loosens their hold.

4. Can low self-esteem be reversed?

Yes, and more importantly, it can be reimagined. Self-esteem rooted in comparison or achievement tends to be fragile. In therapy, we work toward something more lasting: a grounded sense of self-worth that’s relational, resilient, and rooted in who you are, not just in what you do. I can’t say what your experience will be but there is hope for something different.

5. What type of therapy is best for self-esteem?
Guilt says “I did something wrong.” Shame says “I am something wrong.” Therapy can help untangle that difference and loosen shame’s grip.

6. Where does my inner critic come from?
Often from early relationships, trauma, or cultural messages that told you you weren’t good enough. Therapy helps uncover and soften those roots.

7. Can self-compassion really change anything?
Yes and research supports it. Self-compassion builds emotional resilience, motivation, and a more stable sense of self-worth.

8. I’ve tried “being kind to myself” and it didn’t stick. What’s different about therapy?
In therapy, we go deeper. We explore why self-kindness feels hard and create tools and practices that actually work for your nervous system and life.

9. What if I feel too ashamed to talk about certain things?
You don’t have to say anything before you’re ready. We’ll go at a pace that feels safe and honoring of your experience.

10. Can you help if my shame is tied to my identity (e.g., Queerness, neurodivergence)?
Yes. As a Queer and non-binary therapist, I affirm and support all identities and help unpack shame tied to systemic and cultural oppression.

11. Do you offer online therapy?
Yes, I offer virtual therapy across Oregon, as well as in-person sessions in Portland.

12. Do I have to commit long-term?
Not at all. We’ll start where you are. Some clients feel relief in just a few sessions; others find value in deeper, ongoing work.