Therapy Reflections on Anxiety, Self-Criticism, Identity, and Belonging

For the Questions That Don’t Have Quick Answers

A lot of what brings people to therapy is something they’ve already spent a long time trying to make sense of, and often judging themselves for along the way. The harder something is to understand, change, or even say out loud, the easier it can be to wonder if it confirms some old fear about you: that you’re too much, not enough, somehow different, or simply bad.

I write because I want there to be more room to look at those experiences without flinching. With enough attention, context, and curiosity, something that has felt shameful or uniquely wrong with you can start to look a lot more human. That doesn’t make the pain disappear, but it can change what it’s like to be alone with it and make it easier to see how support can actually help.

A lot of mental-health writing loses me when it becomes so clinical that there’s barely a person left in it, or so vague and reassuring that there isn’t much to hold onto. I want these articles to stay closer to ordinary life: informed by research and what I’ve learned through more than a decade of practicing therapy, but interested in how these ideas actually show up on an anxious Tuesday afternoon, in a relationship, in the way you talk to yourself, or in the experiences that have shaped how you move through the world.

My own understanding has also been shaped by experiences with panic and homophobia-related trauma, along with years of training and practice in IFS Therapy, LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapy, mindfulness, and Compassion-Focused Therapy. None of those gives me a formula for understanding another person. If anything, they’ve reinforced how much it matters to stay curious about the meaning an experience has for the person actually living it.

If you’re considering therapy, these articles can be a place to spend a little more time with what you’re going through, feel less alone with it, and get a clearer sense of whether reaching out for support feels right for you.

When Something Here Connects With You

If you see some of your experience or what you’ve been going through in any of these articles, you’re welcome to reach out. I work with adults across Oregon around anxiety, shame, harsh self-criticism, LGBTQ+ concerns, and the ways these experiences can become tangled together.

A free 15-minute consultation gives us a chance to talk briefly about what has been going on, answer your questions, and get a sense of whether working together feels like the right next step.

Schedule a free 15-Minute phone consultation directly through my calendar on the contact page or by calling me at (971) 533-5590.